Waiting for the birth of baby

Wishing, waiting,
wearing,
bearing down.
Full and close to capacity as I wait to birth my first born baby.  A nine month process culminating right under my nose in this miraculous body I do hold tight a small curled up little babe.  Who is it, when is it?  I find the last few weeks to be an interesting time of patience, reality, and haziness.  A time of strong emotions of just wanting to hold this little one and look it in the eyes while bam(!) all the surges of energy and love comes flooding into us.  Then the other emotions of anticipating the birth, the whole experience leading up to the baby being with us and all the intensity, the uncertainity, the adventure.  Wondering what my story will be and how it will all occur.

Pregnancy has been a bit of a walk in the park for me I must say humbly as I have glided through with this healthy glow of "everything is wonderful" radiance and not fallen into the trap of complaining, pain or complications.  This is beyond, of course, all of the random shit I have put myself through unbeknownst to this little fuzzers inside,  such as traveling for much of my first trimester, including 2 weeks on a bouncing sailboat (no sea sickness- thank you ocean gods) and then running around all my second trimester trying to keep up with the active Colorado nature and honing in on saving acorns for the big shift,  to then spending my 3rd trimester packing up my home, moving thousands of miles away with no real plan or place to live to a big intimidating place.  Now here we are like it was all meant to be..... settled in a bungalow with a red door, a nice swatch of grass out front with 2 adriondack chairs perfectly placed under a willowy tree, our selenite crystal lighting up the forefront of our living room, and the breeze filtering through open windows on a perfectly breezy 61 degree California day.

We have taken this baby on a little ride as it has definitely taken us on one as well.  This is only the start of that as I see this addition shifting our consciousness beyond this phase.  I know we will choose different paths because of it and our lives will end up in all sorts of random places like in treehouses or motivating to make bigger social changes in our world.  Right now it is all an open book still waiting to be drawn upon.  Right now I am just really pregnant and trying my hardest to be patient and trust in the right timing all while feeling groggy and restless.  Such a small notch in time awaiting an arrival and slowly waving goodbye to the departure of a different version of myself from the past as this awakens seeds of great change. 

New horizons beckon and I need time away to see today

On our way. We are always on our way, in between here and there.  We are constantly birthing new ideas all while in route to an idea that is clearly manifesting in front of us after time and place got us here.  We are always looking into the future.  What is next?  How can we make it happen?

Were in the middle of another exhausting travel day that has you rubbing your eyes an forgetting to take liquids out of your bags during multiple security checks.  We had a red eye last night and I had my neck cramped up on a sweater trying to find the right position to sleep which is totally and absolutely impossible to do in a functional and comfortable way.  Paradise beckons though.  It is May, the most spectacular time to leave the Rocky Mountains for weather that doesn't have you shivering and for time with bare skin in the sun.

It can all be exhausting and exhilerating.  Just the fact that there is steel drum music playing in the airport newstand makes me feel that much better, like I am on the right path here and now.  There are also wafts of cuban sandwiches and many differing accents that give me a relief that I am out of cold Denver, at least for now. 
Here we go.  Looking forward to serenity after a whirlwind of a month swirling around us.  I wanted a change and a rush of synchronicity has taken me under her wings and I am now (somewhat reluctantly) flying with her.  We want change but are afraid to make change.  Eventually change finds us and forces us to breath and move with it.  "It is just life", I tell myself.  There really is no need to be overwhelmed.  For fear is reason for us to face it and to grow into new shapes.  It is glorious really and we need to look life in the eyes and just give it a smile.
Perfect in the spectrum of all this light and life hitting us in new places lately.  A perfect place to sink into the moment and relax into changes, synchonicity, and trusting ourselves on the wild ride. Argggh, maty.

The Ebb & flow of creativity

Today I am inspired by the ocean. It is early March and Spring feels like a breath away, at least that is what the calendar says. Yet on a dreary Sunday after a late night bonfire and yurt party I feel like the Winter energy still penetrates this moment. So I spent hours looking at surf blogs and dreaming of other lives that I could live. I pull out the art supplies and have visions of water, jumping in it, it moving, ebbing and flowing. This happen at least 3 times of year. The effervescent cycle of desire for adventure, sun on my skin and the salt water fixing everything. The attraction to the un attainable, at least in the present moment. I think everyone is an artist, it is such a versatile word. I despise when the word artist is used in a pompous way (maybe this is my projection on to them but.....). Lets all say we are artists. Lets get weird and express and make avenues to better indulge in the creations inside of us. There are bubbles of all sorts that rise in us and there needs to be a place to let them float out so that we can inspire each other. This is one of those times where I take a step back and see my cluster of ideas and intend for them to find a direction. How can we inspire one another? I am really obsessed with personal expression and how to better facilitate a place and space (metaphorically and physically for this). I have been stoked on women starting non profits that integrate surfing with global initiatives in empowering small poor communities. I am inspired by ocean photography and bold moves to make the simple landscape into a more artistic and individually perceived form. I am inspired by art, surfing, activism and bold blue expressions. So I do not live by an ocean. I do live deep in the Rockies on the north facing side of mountain. We have blue skies, some interesting people and lots of events that give us visions of other lives. "There must be a project which one can accomplish wherever one is", that's what I say. There is a need to take inspiration, or at times envy, and turn it into something more tangible to our circumstances. So, lets focus: - Women's Performance Troupe- Summer street performance extravaganza - Spring Film projects. Still looking for an overall theme, but between the people in Ecuador and the caribbean backdrop I have a feeling we could put something together full of magic. Music video could also take this to another level. - Photo project with spinner camera depicting our 360 images of our generation, the reality of what it means to be american, privilaged in the eyes of the world, but struggling to find our place and mission in the mess of uncertainty. Art. Let it feed me, let it feed you, let it ebb and flow between us so that there is inspiration & re purpose within the daily routines.